fake smiles

Later, gator.

2010-01-11T18:03:00.001+08:00

I won't be blogging here anymore. Ask me for my new URL if you'd like.

To the lighthouse.

2010-01-01T12:34:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year, everyone.

I'd reflect on 2009, list all the mistakes I won't make again, bring back all those joyous moments, laugh at all the silly ones. But isn't that what everyone else is doing?
Time to go make more resolutions I won't keep.

I'm ashamed of feeling done now,
Cos we're with people we've been waiting on.
All we needed were some good friends,
And a song to sing along.

Stuck on the ground.

2009-12-28T14:34:00.002+08:00

I'm dreading work tomorrow. I'm sick of standing all day, sick of washing dishes, sick of checking stock, sick of making potato gratin and teh tarik, sick of waiting eons for the stupid electrical stove to boil water, and I'm even sick of manning the cash register (except when it's Benson buying a waffle). I wish I could relive this past week, over and over and over again.

I miss my friends, I miss school, I miss being a lazy cow, I miss Spunky, I miss Ozzy, I miss spending the whole day in front of the computer, I miss my water heater, I miss Fremantle, I miss Youtube, I miss being able to go to sleep without knowing how lousy tomorrow's going to be.

Arini and Kanages, I miss you guys like shit okay. I'm sorry there hasn't been a trip to town or SPCA or Taco Bell like we planned. And I'd promise to make up for it soon, but that's not up to me, and I'm sorry for that too. But we must must must meet up, sooner or later, because.. just because lah, heh.

Alright, well. Merry Christmas and a happy new year, everyone.

You can fall for chains of silver,
You can fall for chains of gold.
Fall for pretty strangers,
And the promises they hold.

Horizontal rainbow.

2009-12-20T21:17:00.001+08:00

Perth has been fucking awesome so far. Everything reminds me of how much I loved it here.

See you in a week, Singapore.

(Aussie boys, OMG.)
;D

Hockey kills.

2009-12-09T01:43:00.002+08:00

So, work officially starts in two days, but we're already working our asses off (without any pay, mind you). And it's not exactly the job I had in mind. Fine, to be fair, I didn't have a particular job in mind to begin with, but this was definitely the last option, if not something I wanted to avoid completely.

But, it's better than sitting at home all day. Plus, the pay is pretty damn good, THEY HAVE BLACK PLATES ZOMGWTFUGGZZZ, I get to man the cash register, I actually get paid for OT, I don't have to give a poop about MYOB, and I'll have an ally.

So there. My manager may be the biggest ass I've ever known, but I'm happy. Kind of, anyway.

Did I mention that the pay is mad rad?
Coolbeans :D

-

2009-11-30T14:57:00.003+08:00

I'd forgotten what it feels like to cry so hard, until you can't control your breathing and you're gasping for air, until your jaw hurts so bad, until you feel like there's a boxing match going on in your head because it's just pounding so hard.

And it goes on and on, until you're so exhausted. Your breathing slows down, but your jaw still aches, and your head is still pounding. Wave after wave after wave, it becomes a rythmic lullaby, until finally, you're too drained to even open your eyes. And the heartache is all that's left to feel.

You reminded me how it feels.

And you.
You need me to be stronger than this.
But I need you to stop being so in denial.

"Everyone needs an olly-olly-oxen-free."
Damn straight.

A little bit tipsy.

2009-11-25T19:49:00.001+08:00

When I wait, other people have to wait too.
Fuck you.

Dude, sorry. :/

Blue Plate Special.

2009-11-15T03:15:00.002+08:00

"It can't be that simple."
"Why not?"
"Because things never are between mothers and daughters. It's against the law of nature."

It's beautiful. That's all I can say.

SHIT!

2009-11-13T17:08:00.002+08:00

Get ready.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Oh my god, shit. Oh my god, oh my god, shit, shit. Shit! Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Oh, shit. Oh my god, shit. Shitshitshit. SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! OH MY GOD SHIT! Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit. SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Shit shit shit shit shit. Shit. Shittty shitty shit. Shit, shit. Oh my god, shit. Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod SHIT! Shittt. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Oh, shit shit shit. Shit.
OH MY GOD SHIT!

Don't you just love that word? I don't. So learn to shut the fuck up, because I didn't pay six fucking dollars to hear some fucking twat say shit like it's a matter of life and death. Even after our extremely loud and very very very obvious retorts, you continue your shitchant. Why the fuck are you so fucking dense? Or are you just fucking deaf? Either way, you fucking suck dick for being so fucking annoying. Fuck you.

On a brighter note, I think Paranormal Activity on Friday the thirteenth was perfect. I'm not sure about the rest, but I still think the ending was a bit sad. But today was awesome. Thanks guys. (:

No more O for 'O' Levels. It's O for over. And O for Ohmycheeze I want to get a job before they're all taken!

Sushi, yeeeaaahh :D

Couldn't resist.

2009-10-08T22:07:00.002+08:00

"And there are some people who I just want to poke their eyes but we shall not get into that." -Sanders.

LOL-ed like an idiot again. Screw you, Cluck.
On hiatus, too. All the way till the thirteenth of November.

See you later, alligator!

Today, I'm fine without you.

2009-10-02T17:37:00.002+08:00

First: graduation.
Nothing much to say about it actually. Thank you, Yi Hui, for the little card. Honestly, I was very touched. You're awesome la. And the mash potato was nice, ha.

Second: sleepover.
Cousin slept over on Wednesday night. This time, it was fun having a guest around. Not that I usually don't like it, it just gets kinda tiring sometimes.
Nevermind.

Third: little blessing.
My new niece is the most innocent being I have ever seen. I was surprised how protective I felt when I held her. Isn't it funny how these little people, who know so little and have only just existed, bring joy beyond words to others?

Fourth: today.
I'm glad I finally got a new earpiece. I've already spent half a day of pure bliss with it. No more one-sided blasting. Also headed to the library. Met Kanageswari d/o Konasegaran there. Did some Maths, had lunch at KFC, laughed at some people, witnessed a bitchfight, headed home. Not very productive, so I'm gonna need two mugs of coffee tonight.

I think that's about it. Intensive Study starts next week, yay.

I'll keep you, my dirty little secrets.
All of you.

Stagnant.

2009-09-28T17:01:00.003+08:00

Note to self: ENTER key can be pressed very easily. Too easily. Do not lay finger on ENTER key unnecessarily.

Stupid ass.

Just a few things that have made my days lately.
(:

PopRocket <3.

2009-09-08T13:50:00.002+08:00

Cluck:

Fine, have them all.
Bob's still my number one fly boy :D
(Plus, he wears a tux. How sexy is that right.)

Tuesday. Almost two in the afternoon. Just a note to self.

Holiday homework:

Two English comprehensions.
Three English summaries.
Two letters.
One Malay Paper 2.
One SBQ worksheet.
Maths practice papers (3..?)
Science. Zomg, can I die now?

Anemonememone.

2009-09-07T13:45:00.003+08:00

Cluck:

Life's never fair.
And no he isn't. You said he looks stoned.
You want the bottom half with the fringe? How do you know he doesn't wax? HAHA.

I will start being an ant today.

P.S. Cluck, I know you wouldn't want to, but come worst, check out A.L.L. Strictly no putting to sleep.
Chillax. Think of grinning ball-grabbers.

Quagswag.

2009-09-05T12:31:00.003+08:00

Don't fucking compare.

Cluck:

Fine, but I get all the McFly boys as well. All of 'em. Take it or leave it.
(:

When I say jump you say how high ;

2009-08-28T21:56:00.002+08:00

This week has been better than last week, for numerous reasons.

I feel like I'm standing on this thin line between slack mode and progression mode. It's like I just need that one little push so that I'm over on the good side. Maybe not fully, but so that I'd have to take two backward steps to fall back into lazing instead of one tiny step.

I've done the Teachers' Day messages. Most of them were written with at least seventy percent sincerity, and I'm glad about that. You can't help but feel bad when someone tells you how much belief they have in you even though you're not doing your very best, not even close to it. And I think it's high time I walked the talk.

To hard work, 'O' Levels, and our wonderful teachers.

(Brainorgasm didn't work, and I found out it's because we were doing it wrong. Don't know about Cluck, but I feel like a total loser. Still, the laughs were good :D )

Liar, liar, pantz on fiar.

2009-08-26T17:31:00.002+08:00

You haven't been home for the past 24 hours.
This is so much fun.

Today was kinda slow for me. MT in the morning was funny, then after that was Bio, which was just okay. Maths was murderous. Because my head nearly exploded from trying to do today's Sudoku puzzle. Charmaine got it though, just before Geography Focus. Haha, genius. But anyway, after that was another recess spent in the library. I attempted Chemistry (read: attempt, ergo did not fully succeed). Then one and a half hours of Physics, five minutes of which was actually pretty funny, cos now we all know how she lost the ball. Heh, the other eighty-five minutes were dedicated to more Sudoku.

And that was my day. It feels so weird. People don't have to know how my day went. But I have nothing else to blog about :(

Spiderwebzzzz, woo!
:D

ell-oh-ell-oh-ell.

2009-08-21T18:14:00.004+08:00

12:26:45 AM [ѕаnduнѕ♥] ™ Ignorance: I know I said insest is sexy.
12:26:46 AM Zapcutboombangpssh: HAHA PRECISELY OMG.
12:26:48 AM [ѕаnduнѕ♥] ™ Ignorance: But with my dad?
12:26:52 AM [ѕаnduнѕ♥] ™ Ignorance: DEATHHHHH.
12:26:55 AM [ѕаnduнѕ♥] ™ Ignorance: Fuck.
12:27:00 AM [ѕаnduнѕ♥] ™ Ignorance: How do you spell that again?
12:27:06 AM [ѕаnduнѕ♥] ™ Ignorance: Insect.

And a minute later,

12:28:27 AM [ѕаnduнѕ♥] ™ Ignorance: It's all in the genes :D
12:28:34 AM Zapcutboombangpssh: Whaa..?
12:28:39 AM Zapcutboombangpssh: What genes?
12:28:41 AM [ѕаnduнѕ♥] ™ Ignorance: Heh, nevermind xD
12:28:44 AM [ѕаnduнѕ♥] ™ Ignorance: You know.
12:28:49 AM Zapcutboombangpssh: Eh what lahhhh.
12:28:49 AM [ѕаnduнѕ♥] ™ Ignorance: The ones with the loci.
12:28:55 AM [ѕаnduнѕ♥] ™ Ignorance: And the sister chromatits.
12:29:06 AM [ѕаnduнѕ♥] ™ Ignorance: *tids
12:29:06 AM Zapcutboombangpssh: Wtf lol.

Hahaha. You know, I'm glad your mind was all messed up this week. Kinda made me feel better. For a while, anyway.

I ate stars today, whoopuhdeedoo.
Tyvm :D

Shitler.

2009-08-20T18:42:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to do now. Like I told Cluck, I know what I want to do, but I have no idea what I should do. It's the time I'd be spending away from home. It'd be so selfish of me, too selfless of them. Not to mention the cost. It probably would be less of a burden if I was(/were? no idea, whatever) acing all my subjects right now. I failed three subjects. Three. Acing? Not so much. But even then, it's only a sliver of a chance that they'd give me permission (and hopefully support). So now I don't know if I should even bother trying. Or if I should just take some loser ass path and live a loser ass life till I'm 80 then die some loser ass death.

I say finish up my loser ass homework and sleep.
My eyes still hurt.

Say what you need to say.

2009-08-18T23:27:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow.
Shit.
):

Ramennnn.

2009-08-16T19:14:00.002+08:00

Things I ~~must~~ would like to get:

That bag, omg.
New earpiece cos I've got this thing with water. Nevermind.
A new wallet. One that has a proper place for notes, coins and cards.
A new pencilcase. One with a zip that's not broken.
A guitar (this can wait).
Camera film.
Fusilli. More fusilli.
Sushi, because it is yum.
Carrot :(

Went to get my sister's spectacles done today. It's red and white and she's gonna look like a total National Day nerd hahahaha. Watched a ramen-eating contest after that, then headed home.

My weekend sucked.
68 days to O's.
I'm happy.

-

2009-08-15T23:41:00.001+08:00

I won't miss you when you're gone. Deal with it.

-

2009-08-12T11:49:00.000+08:00

Your princess but still an idiot right.

Like ohemgee, totally.

2009-08-08T22:20:00.002+08:00

I have longkang fish in my fountain. Hahaha!
Fine, plus a few teeny weeny goldfishes.

Anyway, know what I realised today? I realised I like thick, heavy towels. Like those you find in hotels. And thick, heavy curtains too. And blankets, and carpets. Then after that, I realised all that was a bit psychotic.

And it seems today was a day of much realisation, because I also realised that they have two copies of the Kama Sutra.
I kid you not.
Like, ew..?

Genius.

2009-08-04T01:32:00.001+08:00

You know, the world ain't so bad.
(:

Three more days.
Come on.

Open up a smile on another face ;

2009-08-02T20:24:00.003+08:00

Cute- Stephen Jerzak

Your eyes are blue like the ocean
And baby I'm lost out at sea
Did the sun just come out or did you smile at me
I've been trying to ask you but I can't seem to speak
Was it love at first sight 'cause I walked by last week.

I'm singing fa la la la la...

Your lips look so lonely
Would they like to meet mine
You are the one that I've been hoping to find
You're so sweet that you
Put Hersheys out of business
Can I have a photograph to show my friends that
Angels truly exist.

I'm singing fa la la la la...

You're as cute as a button
The things you do sure are something
Are you running out of breath
From running through my head, all night.

Is there something in your eye
Oh wait, it's just a sparkle
Can you get a little closer
And help me out a little bit
Because I scraped my knee fallin' for you
But baby a kiss will do.

I'm singing fa la la la la la...

You're as cute as a button
The things you do sure are something
Are you running out of breath
From running through my head, all night.

I'm falling in love
And wouldn't I like to think so
And every night I look at the stars out my window
And I hope I can see
The one that we saw together
It was just you and me and honestly
I'll look for that star forever.

I'm falling in love
And wouldn't I like to think so
And every night I look at the stars out my window
And I hope I can see
The one that we saw together
It was just you and me and honestly
I'll look for that star forever.

You're as cute as a button
The things you do sure are something
Are you running out of breath
From running through my head, all night.

You're as cute as a button
The things you do sure are something
Are you running out of breath
From running through my head, all night.

Haha. Talk about cheesy pick-up lines.
I am so ready for Bio.

Hmmh.

2009-07-27T15:57:00.002+08:00

I can't do it.

I'm not even being pessimistic anymore. I'm being honest. I cannot do it.
Please, is it okay if I just screw this up?
Please?

:(

Dying animal.

2009-07-22T21:22:00.002+08:00

Today was F-U-N!
Heeh.

I'll upload the pictures some other time.
BecauseIarelazypieceofshiet.

P.S. Cluck, I'll beat you some day. I swear. It's going on my list. Ha, how bout that? :D
P.P.S. You okay? My ears are wide open from LC just now, if you want. Naw, they're always open, but yeah. Cheer up, you.

LET'S HAVE SOME FUN THIS BEAT IS SICK I WANNA TAKE A RIDE ON YOUR DISCO STICK GAGAGAGAGAGAGA!

Haha, don't ask.

Compressssss.

2009-07-15T15:32:00.002+08:00

I didn't even have to watch it, and I already feel like I'm being dragged to hell.
In every aspect.
Groans.

Interwebs.

2009-07-14T00:34:00.002+08:00

I'm getting sick of this. It's unfair because you're allowed to sulk and I'm expected to hide how annoying and immature I think you're being. How do you expect me to maintain my respect for you? No, what respect, in the first place?

Fuck you.
No, seriously.
FUCK. YOU.

Call it hope.

2009-07-09T00:53:00.002+08:00

Life sucks.
It's a matter of fact. The only times you see lives that are so perfect, where everything goes as planned, or everything just falls into place without any planning, even, is in movies. In reality, everyone has their ups and downs.

I'm just glad my downs don't last for long because I've got the best people who pull me right back up.

(:

Beat b'beat beat beating ;

2009-07-08T00:51:00.002+08:00

Ninja, I told you. Damn cute, you can't deny that. Definitely cuter than Mr. Spasms from Pastamania. :D

Q: What's the greatest thing you've ever seen through a window?
(25 seconds of nonsensical pondering)
McFly: A sunny day.

Heeh.
(:

<3 is not an ice-cream cone.

2009-07-03T00:22:00.002+08:00

I screwed up.
I screwed up bad.
But what's done is done, right? No point fretting over it anymore.
Sigh.

On a brighter note, I fed Jacob today! Oh my cheeeeese! He was so damn cute, I want Carrot real bad now. Heh.

Also, watching all those tributes to Michael Jackson (or ads of them) has affected me. I actually feel a sense of loss now. And listening to my mom talk about how it's such a great talent wasted has just added to the feeling. I suddenly find myself wishing I'd known him more. Not personally, duh. But his works. I can still listen to his songs, but it's sorta different cos he's gone, y'know?

I don't even know why it's affected me like that.
Ignore previous paragraph.

Looking forward to the two hours tomorrow. Or later, rather.
Salut. (it does mean bye, too, right? if not, *buries head in ground*)

King Of Pop's popped.

2009-06-26T17:38:00.002+08:00

"dude michael jackson died now all the little children of the world are safe"

ZOMGWTFROFLMFAOLOLOLOLOLOL!
xD

You gotta admit, that's damn funny.
See y'all on Monday!
:D

Those old cameras.

2009-06-23T04:27:00.002+08:00

Someday I'm finally gonna let go,
I know there's a better way.
I wanna know what's over that rainbow.
I'm gonna get out of here someday.

Cold toes.

2009-06-20T02:26:00.002+08:00

Only a week left.
How did time pass by so quickly?

I've been wasting time. I look at that huge pile, and the thought of sitting down in front of my desk for hours, trying to lessen the load, bores me. I refuse to waste my ink and numb my butt. I think of how demoralised I always get when I am stuck at a question. I know for sure that there will be questions like those, and that puts me off greatly.

But that's not right. I'm supposed to be boring myself to death, completing my workload. I'm supposed to be wasting ink, and numbing my butt. I'm supposed to get stuck at some stupid question and I'm supposed to be demoralised by it.

But I'm not supposed to give up when that happens. I'm not supposed to just stay in that state of helplessness because in fact, I am not helpless at all. I have help. So I'm supposed to make use of that help, overcome the question that an idiot of a teacher thought a mind like mine could handle, and then move on to the next question. I'm supposed to keep doing that, till I'm done with mere homework, then I'm supposed to continue numbing my butt while I move on to extra revision.

Because I'm having my fucking 'O' Levels this year, geez.

I don't even know why I typed all that out.
As a reminder?
Maybe.

I feel like giving up, already.

How well do you know me?

2009-06-18T15:16:00.004+08:00

Welcome again to my blog, earthlings! I am certainly not aida, but a hacker who's hacking this girl's blog account. woooots. Well, i am no stranger to aida of course. But i'm actually doing her a good deed right now because apparently, she haven't been updating her almost-dead blog. -_____- SOOOO, erm, i have no idea what to talk about right now, right here. so, i'll start with something very sweet and mushy for a good friend of mine.

Dear Aida,
You obviously know how delighted i'll be whenever i meet you. I'll be laughing away like a goon, because you do the same when you see me too, right? Anyways, i just wanna thank you for all that you've done for me, even the littlest thing. Even though we don't talk as much as we do last time when we were in the same class, but you're still there for me, aren't you? You'll give me good advices and assurances that definitely brightens my day up. Your listening ear will definitely melt anyone's heart because you're just sooo attentive ya know?? Our talks are always so full of laughters coz well, i don't quite get your sarcasms-when will i ever get it anyway? But one thing is for sure. You're a really great friend. Totally. And i wish that no matter how far we are away from each other in the future, we will still contact one another and never let this friendship be left hanging like a string. hehehe.
Love,
Your hacker friend. (i know you know me. Don't tell ppl.)

AHHHH, so sweet right? omgomgomg, i know!!! okay folks, so now you know a little bit more about the owner of this blog, right? i tell you, she's a catch baby! really..... So aida, we'll talk again soooooooooon. And i'm waiting here for you to ask me to come to your house for a visit. I waaaaaaaaaaant! Toodles!

and before i forget, that goes out to arini too. :D I've never forgotten you ya know! You're just as precious as aida to me too. Take care of yourself okay!

Home is where your mom is.

2009-06-11T22:24:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry.
:(

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

2009-06-08T16:22:00.004+08:00

This is Little Miss Sunshine right here.

Awwwwwwwwww. (:

And this is Little Mr. Sunshine right here.

<333333.
:D

Now you know how bright my weekend was. (:

What the flim-flam?!

2009-06-07T14:06:00.002+08:00

I am so drained.
Sigh.

And three solid hours of English tomorrow. What joy.
-__________________________________-

At least I've got the cutest little niece and nephew and the wackiest (though annoying) cousin to put that smile on my face. And thanks for all the help with my Maths homework.
So I know you're not a full-fledged mat yet. Haha.
(:

Steamloller! xD

2009-06-05T18:20:00.003+08:00

Today, I will relink everyone who needs to be relinked. Then I will rearrange all my links alphabetically. Then I will do all homework except Bio because I left my Bio workbook in class (again!) and according to Sandals, finishing up the rest of my homework has higher priority than killing myself for leaving my Bio workbook in class GAAAAH.
Because I am just so hardworking like that.
(Zomg funnyyyy! :p)

Okay people, see you on Monday with all homework done.
Teehee.

(I don't know what's wrong with me this morning.)
(Wait, I DO!)

:D

I do not worship mushrooms.

2009-06-01T18:35:00.002+08:00

Today was nerve-wrecking and hilarious and fun and scary and irritating and happy and sad and crazy and mad.
All of it.

To Asnira,

Happy birthday in advance, dear. I'm sorry I had to leave earlier, but I hope you enjoyed today.
My birthday, you send me an uber sweet message.
Your birthday (advanced celebration), you still send me an uber sweet message.
Crackpot :D

But anyway, I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful sweet sixteenth tomorrow. And even more wonderful days ahead. Thank you, too, for being a great friend, confidante, crap buddy, fellow Drama Mama, and much more.
I know you'll do really really well for your O's cos your just super smart. And you don't need luck at all. So no worries, kay? But that's in four and a half months. So for now, enjoy your (official) birthday. Smile, have fun, and remember that I'm always there if you need me.

Again, happy birthday, old woman. (:

P.S. I was only 15 minutes late, surprisingly. Hehe. :D
P.P.S. My, send me the pics once you've uploaded them, kay? Humairah and Asnira too, if you guys have any. Thanks.

Epic skillz.

2009-06-01T02:23:00.002+08:00

It's 2.24 a.m.
I am having a major exam in six hours.
I cannot sleep.
Fuck.

WTHAYWTFIMMLGOMG!

It's laundry day!

2009-05-27T18:23:00.002+08:00

I'm scared.
Really, really scared.
Sigh.

I'm sorry, that I didn't know what to say.
And I'm sorry, that I can't fill in the pair of shoes she left behind.
But I'm doing the best I can.
I hope you know that.

YAY, Tender Dawg! :D

2009-05-17T13:47:00.003+08:00

*SWOON*
:D

And and and, I cannot find the full version of HTTG.
Rawr.

Nothing more than hoo-ha.

2009-05-16T13:44:00.002+08:00

I realise it's only two weeks before we have to sit for MT O's. I'm looking forward to mock exams. A whole week. Nothing but MT. In the never-gets-fuggin-hot AVA room. No other subjects. Imagine that. I wonder if we'll still get homework for the rest of our subjects, though.

Today was frustrating, irritating and disappointing. It's only 2 in the afternoon.
It can't possibly get any worse than that.

The angels, they burn inside for us.
And are we ever, are we ever gonna learn to fly?

Tough luck, Stacy.

2009-05-08T00:17:00.003+08:00

I think it's only a matter of time before Singapore gets hit by the H1N1 virus. Then more than 90% of the population will get infected, but of that amount, only 10% won't survive because Singapore just has like the best healthcare in the world.

*sniffles*

So I watched A Walk To Remember again the other night. No surprise that by the end of the show I had tears sprinting down my face and a nose full of snot.

Jamie's take on life is amazing. If I found out I had only so much time left to live, I'd probably spend the first half of it moping. That's when I'd start to believe in the actual existence of a higher being and blame him for cutting my life short. The second half would then be spent frantically trying to strike off everything on my list. Depending on how much time I had left, though, a lot of it would be impossible to fulfill.

You know.

Not confident about tomorrow's SPA.
Sigh.
Goodnight.

Bloody Sunday: The Remake

2009-05-04T02:54:00.002+08:00

You are unbelievable.

Thank you for making this the best Sunday of my life.
Ugh.

Yet another.

2009-05-02T02:08:00.002+08:00

4 a.m. laughs are love.
(:

Jellytaim!

2009-04-27T18:03:00.002+08:00

You're wrong. I don't put my friends up on pedestals and worship them. But I cannot deny that it is always them that make me smile. Not you, them.

"Bappy Hirthday :)"
"Yank Thou :D"
"Woor yelcome"

How can you not laugh at that?

My friends are awesome, I love them.
(In the straightest way possible.)
(:

2009-04-19T01:23:00.001+08:00

Results are in five days.
Five days.

What the fuck.

Late night date with Physics.
Noodles.

2009-04-15T23:50:00.002+08:00

First Facebook, now MTV.
God help us all.

I feel sort of incomplete now that there's nothing to anticipate on Tuesdays and Thursdays anymore. I'm not joking.
Sigh.

P.S. Winston was cute. He wasn't annoying at all.

2009-04-12T04:20:00.003+08:00

I took a shower at 12 midnight because I felt like it. I find this hilarious, for some reason.
Anyway, as tagged by Charmaine;

1: Besides your lips , where is your favourite spot to get kissed?
Cheeks?

2: How do you feel when you woke up this morning?
"Shit, Sunday already. Oh wait, still Saturday."

3: Who was the last person you took a photo with?
Hmm. Yi Hui, I think.
4: Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
YES!

5: Would you ever donate blood?
Mhmm.

6: Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
Yes.

7: Do you want someone dead?
Naw, not right now.

8:What does your last text message say?
"Ok."

9:What are you thinking of right now?
An answer to this question. No, seriously.

10: Do you wish someone was with you right now?
Yes.

11: What time did you go to sleep last night?
1 in the morning.

12:Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now?
No idea.

13: Is someone on your mind right now?
Yes.

14: Who was the last person to text you?
My mom.

10 PEOPLE you randomly choose
1. Arini
2. Mysara
3. Kanages
4. Syakina
5. Hawa
6. Phoebe
7. Yi Hui
8. Li Ting
9. Darlene
10. Umm, Kakak ..?

15: Who is 2 having a relationship with?(Mysara)
All her sugar daddies. ;D

16: Is 3 a male or a female?(Kanages)
Female.

17: If 7 and 10 get together will that be a good thing?(Yi Hui and Hana)
As friends, yeah I guess. I don't know.

18: What is Number 1 studying about?(Arini)
Same as myself.

20: Is Number 4 single?(Syakina)
Haha. I don't know.

21: Say something about Number 2. (Mysara)
Drama Mama!

22: What do you think about Number 3 and 6 being together (Kanages And Phoebe)
HAHA.

23: Describe Number 9.(Darlene)
Perverted. Funny. Sweet. Best junior ever. (:

24: What will you do if Number 6 and 7 fight? (Phoebe and Yi Hui)
Haha. I don't think they even know each other ..

25: Do you like Number 8?(Li Ting)
Yes! I hope she finds something/someone that makes her happy soon. Don't be so sad, kay?

Today was a drag. Nothing much to be said.
It's 5.06 am. Good morning, people.

2009-04-10T23:02:00.001+08:00

I miss!

2009-04-10T00:02:00.002+08:00

"Is life always rosy? Don't waste yourself."

Your best friend starts to irritate the hell out of you. Then it seems as though your dad is deliberately picking on you. So you talk less, or distance yourself altogether. So you cry a few tears, or several nights worth. But you can't stop living because of that. So you move on.

Because that's what we do.
We move on.
(Also because you're certain it isn't just PMS.)

Second and last PSL session today. The fact does not affect me as I thought it would have. Since when were awkward silences, and questions fired out of requirement rather than sincerity, ever missed? They'll survive.

(Picture a long paragraph elaborating today's lessons here.)

Mass run.
It was fun. Getting high on Red Bull for nothing. Talking about how our lives would be better without certain people in them (contrary to one of my previous posts, but it cannot be helped). Singing stupid songs till the rain poured. Poured, drizzled. Same thing.

Headed to McD after that. Yi Hui and Wei Loke joined us a while later. Crapped, laughed, headed home.

Being grounded has lost its meaning, ha.

2009-03-22T01:20:00.001+08:00

Chill pill, people.

Geez.

Oh. Pssst.
Sneaky Ninja. I won't open it yet. Not until the day itself.
Heheheh.
Yay, thank you! :D

2009-03-18T16:34:00.002+08:00

You know that song? In five years' time, we'll be walking 'round the zoo, with the sun shining down over me and you, something something something.
Yeah, anyway ..

:D (y) :D (y) :D (y) :D (y)
I am so very thankful.
Thankful for all the people I have in my life right now.
I'm thankful to have met them, to have been given the chance to know how wonderful they are.
I'm thankful to have realised how awful it would be if any one of them were to disappear from my life, because I appreciate them more that way.

Haa, I'm just happy.
:D

2009-02-26T15:45:00.002+08:00

"It's a little bit funnyyyyy,
This feeling insiiiide."

This is gonna be one of the last few times I'll be in this house. It'll be the last time I'll be alone in this house. Shit, I'm gonna miss this place. :/

E-Maths test earlier today. Easy peasy Japanesey. Full marks for sure, ha.
Alright, Geography time.
Noodles, poodles.

2009-02-23T17:09:00.002+08:00

I tend to defend those I don't really know, yet I doubt those I hold more dearly.
Why? That's not right.

Yesterday was horrible. Well no, not the whole of yesterday, but that moment. But I'm glad today's better. Things are cleared; Not as much as I'd like, but at least the decision's been made, and it was unanimous.

Oh, and she seemed happy. Very happy. I guess she really is in her element.
Good for you.

P.S. I'm really proud of you. I know you're not so happy about your situation right now, but I don't care. I'm still proud of you. Heh. (y) :D

2009-02-21T21:40:00.002+08:00

I've been having bouts of hiccups since earlier this afternoon.
It's annoying.
>:[

I'm disappointed that nothing much was achieved after slightly more than two hours at the library (yes, again). But company made everything a lot more fun. (:

PASTAMANIA FTW! :D
Haha, yeeeeaaah.

I miss the sound of your voice,
The loudest thing in my head.
And I ache to remember,
All the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said.

2009-02-18T18:39:00.002+08:00

~~Doubts~~ Accusations.
Mhmm.

It's saddening. But on the other hand, I suppose it's a good thing, because it means I'll have one less distraction. Which is exactly what I need. Less distractions, more self-discipline.

But I also need you to understand. No, as someone in your postion, I expect you to UNDERSTAND. Yes, maybe you weren't serious. But I was. I. Was. Not. Joking. At. All.

I don't even know why I'm so agitated. It's nothing new anyway.

2009-02-14T22:01:00.002+08:00

To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.
Then up he rose, and donn'd his clothes,
And dupp'd the chamber-door;
Let in the maid, that out a maid
Never departed more.

The two hours of studying earlier today was not productive, at all.

I.

AM.

SO.

FAILING.

MATHS.

For real.
D:

P.S. Thank you to Kanages, Hawa, Rui Xian, Si Ying, Pou Ing, Syakina, Yi Hui and Ms. Fu for all the Valentine's Day candy. (:

P.P.S. Please remember to kick me on Monday if I've missed out on your name :/

-Fin-

2009-02-03T01:26:00.002+08:00

"We should all aspire to live like bananas."

#200

Definitely no valid explanation for that.
Stupid mofo.

2009-01-30T01:33:00.002+08:00

For some reason, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Or later today, rather. Even though there's Physics and Focus Study. Even though I know I'm gonna be dead tired. Because I'm happy.

2009-01-22T21:31:00.003+08:00

SELAMAT HARI JADI, NYAI!

Nyeheh. My grandmother is the cutest person on Earth. I love her.

Had Drama today, and we finally finished the blocking for the whole script. Yay. :D
Walked Kanages home after that. Who needs online personality tests when I've got a live, accurate one. Haha. Got home after seven. Everyone else went to my Granny's to visit the birthday girl (??), hah. But thanks to Bio, I decided not to tag along. Plus, exhaustion won me over.

Fifteen- Taylor Swift

You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
You say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way
It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
You know I haven't seen you around, before

'Cause when you're fifteen and
Somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen feeling like
There's nothing to figure out
But count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know
Who you're gonna be
Fifteen

You sit in a class next to a redheaded Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughing at the others girls
Who think they're so cool
We'll be out of here as soon as we can
And then you're on you're very first date
And he's got a car and you're feeling like flying
And you're mamma's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one
And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends
When the night ends

'Cause when you're fifteen and
Somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes you head spin 'round but
In your life you'll do things greater
Than dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted
Was to be wanted
Wish you could go back
And tell yourself what you know now

Back then I swore I was gonna
Marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind
And we both cried

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be
At fifteen

Your very first day
Take a deep breath girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors

Hmh. Amusing. I don't know why.

2009-01-20T19:30:00.003+08:00

I don't know why I did that. Okay, so maybe I do. Hmh, I hate sudden surges of frustration.

Half-day today. Nothing special. Didn't feel special to me, at least.
-inhale-
-exhale-

Man, I feel so down todaaaaay.
:(

And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big.
But God couldn't let it live.

2009-01-19T21:51:00.004+08:00

I admire people who can speak good English. People like Charmaine, Miss Tay (Kristen Stewart lookalike. hardy har har.), Mdm. Haslinda, Smartbutt. And others too, of course.

Ah random point. Pardon that.

School was .. okay today. Fell asleep during English lesson (surprise, surprise), but at least I managed to stay awake throughout the rest of the day. Wow. Bring out the champagne.

And Mr. Radha's giving out Maths worksheets like there's no tomorrow. I think he thinks our survival depends on the consumption of reformed wood with mathematical print on it. French toast is a lot nicer, really. >:[

Ah, time to study for the Bio quiz tomorrow.
What joy.

Let your warm hands break right through
And just save me.

2009-01-14T18:38:00.002+08:00

Yet another day, again without.

Other than that, today was pretty good. All due assignments in, and I actually paid attention in Chemistry and Social Studies.
Bagus. :D

The past few days, on the other hand, have been very ... unpleasant, i suppose. I don't know if it was just me, or if the people living in this house have been deliberately trying to irritate the life out of me. So much to the extent that I nearly displayed it. Mind you, that's a lot considering I've been trained to lock my frustration in and shut the hell up since before I can remember. No, not because it would be very impolite to do so, but because I'd be stupid to slam a door, roll my eyes, cry out in anger, whatever. Nope, wouldn't want that.

Anywaaaaay ..

“Mad cow” is an infectious disease in the brain of cattle. Humans who become infected, usually by eating tissue from diseased cattle, will die of a similar brain disease that may develop over many years.

Abnormal proteins called prions (PRE-ons) are found in brain tissue of diseased cattle. Prions eat away at the brain and create tiny spongelike holes in parts of the brain. These so-called spongy holes cause slow deterioration within the cattle brain, and eventually symptoms affecting the whole body. Death follows. The scientific name for mad cow disease in cattle is called bovine spongiform encephalopathy (meaning sick brain) or BSE, meaning a sickness of the cow’s brain; when damaged brain tissue is viewed on a laboratory slide, it has a spongy appearance.

If humans eat diseased tissue from cattle, they may develop the human form of mad cow disease known as variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob (Jacob! :o) disease (vCJD) or new variant Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (nvCJD). The disease was named after the researchers who first identified the classic condition. Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease in its classic form usually occurs in older people through an inherited tendency of the brain to change or spontaneously for no apparent reason. The type identified as occurring from eating diseased cattle occurs in younger people and has atypical clinical features, with prominent psychiatric or sensory symptoms at the time of clinical presentation and delayed onset of neurologic abnormalities. These neurologic abnormalities include ataxia within weeks or months, dementia (loss of memory and confusion) and myoclonus late in the illness, a duration of illness of at least 6 months, and a diffusely abnormal non-diagnostic electroencephalogram.
The transmissible agents that cause the disease in both cattle and humans are “prions.” Prions are not like bacteria or viruses that cause other infectious diseases; rather, they are infectious proteins.

Diseased prions are found in the brain, spinal cord, eye (in the retina), and other tissues of the nervous system of affected animals or humans. In addition, prions can be found outside the nervous system including the bone marrow, spleen, and lymph nodes. Low levels of prions may also be found in blood.

Prions are highly resistant to heat, ultraviolet light, radiation, and disinfectants that normally kill viruses and bacteria. Prions may infect humans who eat meat from infected cattle. Even cooking meat infected with BSE does not eliminate the prions or the risk.

Once infection occurs, there is a long incubation period that typically lasts several years. When prions reach a critical level in the brain, symptoms such as depression, difficulty walking, and dementia occur and progress rapidly.

Scientists believe that BSE is transmitted from animals to humans when humans eat meat from infected animals. The content of infected brain tissue may be higher in some food products than others, and it may also depend on the way the animal was slaughtered. BSE can be transmitted from one human to another through cannibalism or through transplantation of infected tissue.

Infected adult cattle may develop signs of the disease slowly. It may take from 2 to 8 years from the time an animal becomes infected until it first shows signs of disease. Symptoms in the animal include a change in attitude and behavior, gradual uncoordinated movements, trouble standing and walking, weight loss despite having an appetite, and decreased milk production. Eventually the animal dies. From the onset of symptoms, the animal deteriorates until it either dies or is destroyed (cattle who cannot stand are called “downers”). This disease process may take from 2 weeks to 6 months.

Similar symptoms may develop in humans: muscle spasms, lack of muscle control, worsening problems with memory.

Researchers looked at the first 100 people to develop vCJD in the United Kingdom and found psychiatric symptoms in early stages of the disease. These included depression, withdrawal, anxiety, and trouble sleeping. Within 4 months of the disease onset, those affected developed poor memory and an unsteady gait.

There.
Noodles, poodles.

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown.
So why am I ten feet under and upside down?

2009-01-12T18:37:00.002+08:00

Shit.

I know I said I'm just being paranoid, but now I'm actually worried. No, scared.
Shit laaaa.

Not in the mood to talk about Orientation Camp. I was gonna, but not anymore :|

2009-01-05T00:43:00.002+08:00

New year, new resolutions, blah blah blah.
Pure manure.

Anyhooooo, I hope Tang will enjoy reading the definitions of osmosis, diffusion and active transport and hear our squeaky chipmunk voices. Oh wait, no. Family Force 5 took care of that. Hahahaha. Damn funny lah.

Smartbutt and I met up on Saturday to finish up the project.
Teeny weeny screen + Mike and Ike Jellybeans + evil genius laughs = fun shizz.
:D

And after that, met up with my mom, went to get some stuff from NTUC. Then had lunch at BK, headed to Metro to look at more bedsheets (-__-) and clothes (:D). And we got a super stinky mug (free, but stinky) and some crapshit piece of cloth for spending a little over hundred. Awesome.

And the rest of the day was stupid.
You're stupid, too.

2008-12-28T01:19:00.002+08:00

Do you remember when?

I think today would've been a good day. If someone hadn't spoiled it. Typical.

There's so much craziness surrounding me. There's so much going on, it gets hard to breathe. When I'm not sure of my priorities, when I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be, you make it real for me.
I guess there's so much more I have to learn. But if you're here with me, I know which way to turn. You always give me somewhere I can learn. You make it real for me.

I miss you, and you, and you, very much.
D':

2008-12-21T02:16:00.002+08:00

Barbecue, sleepover, Kallang Stadium (yes! :D).
Damn tired man.

I realized there's less than two weeks to the reopening of school. And that kinda sucks cos I've barely started on all the holiday homework.
(And was it a dream or did I also realize that we have Chem AND Physics homework too?)

And all the books are in a box now. That's a start. That's both a good and a bad thing. To me. I want change, but I'm gonna miss what I'm so familiar with, ~~and more~~.
Oh well.

hahaha bitch.
i like it.
be mean to me. i like it.

Hehehe, I love my weirdo friends :D

2008-12-14T17:03:00.006+08:00

Finally, I've got stuff to post about.

Friday
It really is more heartbreaking when someone who's gone through it tells you the story. All this time it's been like, "Oh, Japanese Occupation. Torture. Suffering. Forty-something years ago. Get over it." But when my grandmother told me the story, it was so different. People really did get their fingernails pulled off so mercilessly. People really were locked in huge tanks, filled up to their noses with faeces. People really did have to down whole buckets of soapwater.
Almost turned on the waterworks.

Sushi is still orgasmic, though.
:D

Saturday
The JB trip was slightly better than expected. Went to Sutera Mall and, I swear, I could live in that place for a week and not get bored. Really. Aaaaaaaaaand,

DVDs !!

Whoopuhdeedoo. No more boredom.
(insert scream here)
:DDDDDD

2008-12-06T11:42:00.005+08:00

Talk You Down- The Script

I can feel the colour running
As it's fading from my face
Try to speak but nothing's coming
Nothing I could say to make you stay
Grab your suitcase call a taxi
It's 3am now where you gonna go?
Gonna stay with friends in London
And that's all I get to know

Just a cigarette gone
No you couldn't be that far
I'm driving my car to where i hope you are
Maybe I can talk you down
Maybe I can talk you down
We're standing on a tiny ledge
Before this goes over the edge
Gonna use my heart and not my head
And try to open up your eyes
This is a relationship suicide

Cos if you go, I go
Cos if you go, I go

Taking shortcuts through the alleys
While you're racing through my mind
Cops can chase but they won't catch me
Not before I get to speak my mind
If there's still time oh

Just a cigarette gone
No you couldn't be that far
I'm driving my car to where i hope you are
Maybe I can talk you down
Maybe I can talk you down
We're standing on a tiny ledge
Before this goes over the edge
Gonna use my heart and not my head
And try to open up your eyes
This is a relationship suicide

Cos if you go, I go
Cos if you go, I go
Cos if you go, I go
Cos if you go, I go

We're standing on a tiny ledge
Before this goes over the edge
Gonna use my heart and not my head

We're standing on a tiny ledge
Before this goes over the edge
Gonna use my heart and not my head

Just a cigarette gone
No you couldn't be that far
I'm driving my car to where i hope you are
Maybe I can talk you down
Maybe I can talk you down
We're standing on a tiny ledge
Before this goes over the edge
Gonna use my heart and not my head
And try to open up your eyes
This is a relationship suicide

Cos if you go, I go
Cos if you go, I go
Cos if you go, I go
Cos if you go, I go

Like, finally. *screams*
Oh, and CHIJ girls are bitches indeed. Really.
-__-

2008-12-05T12:57:00.004+08:00

ABC facts

A-Available or Married? Available.

B-Best Friend? No best one.

C-Cake or Pie? Cake.

D-Drink of Choice? Water.

E-Essential Item: Oxygen.

F-Favorite Color? Black, red, silver.

G-Gummi Bears or Worms? Bears.

H-Hometown? Singapore. (What 'town'?)

I-Indulgence? Expensive meals (Swensens, Breeks, etc.) :/

J-January or February: February.

K-Kids and Names: N/A

L-Life is Incomplete Without: Family.

M-Marriage Date? Roffle.

N-Number of Siblings? Two.

O-Oranges or Apples? Apples.

P-Phobias/Fears? Losing something important/precious to me.

Q-Favorite Quote? None.

R-Reason to Smile? You, you, you, and anything funny.

S-Season? Winter.

T-Tag three people: Arini, Hawa, Kanages.

U-Unknown Fact About Me: Ant infestations drive me insane.

V-Very- o_O | o_o | O_O | O_o

W-Worst Habit: Biting my nails ..?

Y-Your Favorite Food? It changes every three days. Right now, briyani.

Z-Zippers, Buttons, or Velcro? Zippers.

The week turned out to be a lot busier than I thought. At least he's gone till Sunday. Yipee.

2008-11-26T11:03:00.002+08:00

These violent delights have violent ends,
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which, as they kiss, consume.

Hmh, Twilight's a huge disappointment. They cut out a lot of parts. And I mean a lot.
:/

Other than that piece of news, there's nothing much else. Life is so frickin boring. Wait, no. I can't even say that because I don't even have a life. I need to get one, pronto.

Oh, and my mom can be so funny sometimes.
Just sometimes.

2008-11-22T12:40:00.002+08:00

I like this new blogskin, even though it's kinda plain.
Hehe.
Sorry, I just felt like giggling to myself.

"Anyway, I had a long talk with Edward (long enough for her battery to run out, haha) and I am glad that we did. I needed someone to talk to and even though we didn't discuss anything intricate but at least I had someone to talk to. And laugh along with, haha."

Number one, why am I Edward ?? Number two, I'm so so so so so sorry about the whole battery thing, heh. I swear, I'll make it up to you this Friday. Number three, you didn't just laugh along with me like a madwoman okay, you laughed at me. And that makes you a crazy, horrible person, so ha.

But yeah, Smartbutt's right. I haven't talked to anyone on the phone for that long in a looong time, and it was fun. Makes me realise how much I miss crapping with em. Ah well, a little more than a month to go.

More visitors today.
What joy.

Noodles, poodles.

youyou, haha.

2008-11-18T12:04:00.004+08:00

Everyone's doing it. Might as well get my lazy arse to do the same. Plus, it gives me a reason to blog.

Tagged by Mysara.

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. Do you have secrets?
-Of course.

2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl younger than you?
-Falling in love is not a choice.

3. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
-I don't know, honestly.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
-Pay off lots and lots of debts, and save the rest, if there was any.

5. (Replaced question)Coffee, tea or milk?
-Heh, this question is awesome. Coffee, definitely.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
-Being loved by someone I guess.

7. Give one reason why you love your significant other.
-N.A.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
-Self-pity kills.

9. What is the first thing you want to do when you're legal?
-Run around screaming like a madwoman.

10. What would you do if your significant other cheats on you?
-To err is human, to forgive is divine.

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
-Living in my own apartment, with Luner, hopefully.

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
-Family and close friends.

13. How many times your heart has been broken?
-Haha.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
-Single and rich for now, I guess.

15. What is your favourite colour?
-No favourite one, just preferences.

16. If you're attached but you feel as if you like someone else, what would you do?
-Haha, now I know how Smartbutt felt when I asked her this question once. I'd probably ask for advice, anyway.

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
-Forgive, yes. But maybe not forget, if it was that horrible.

18. What do you want to tell the someone you like?
-Do you like cheese? :D

19. If there is a choice between lover and friends, which will you choose?
-Friends, full stop.

20. Do you believe that there's "True Love"?
-Hah, I don't know.

5 people to so this survey: Arini, Hawa, Charmaine, Pei Shwen and Syakina.

Even though they've probably done it already.

on the left.

2008-11-08T17:53:00.002+08:00

What a silly game we play,
Like a summer's day in May.

I like how today's gone so far.
Not like every other Saturday.
Thank you for that.

The sun's shining a brilliant shade of orange and there are those pretty streaks of pink in the sky right now. Shit, I'm gonna miss this. And I only have till December. TOP's on the 10th.

Oh, and Smartbutt, I finally listened to Smother Me. Heh, fine, you do listen to slow songs, not just those that scream a 'Fuck you!' in the middle.
I think I've chosen mine as well.
I think.

I think not.

2008-11-06T17:07:00.002+08:00

I don't know why, I suddenly felt like posting. Second time a day, some more.

Drama was alright. So is the script. It's .. different, but alright anyhow. Ended at one instead of four, so decided to get started on the placards. Walked to Causeway Point, had lunch with the Drama Mamas, and got the mounting boards, plus markers and other shizz. Oh, and Zul and Amin are gonna look so prettaaaye.
International gay colour, indeed. Heh.

Headed to the library, where I think we talked more than we did work. We're not to blame. The people there are so .. interesting.
:D

Oh, and at this rate, I'm never gonna be able to buy what I was saving up for in the first place. And the spendthrift isn't even me.

*insert monumental frog face here.

Krappy krap.

2008-11-06T08:30:00.005+08:00

I swear, one day, the little boys from Barney and Friends are gonna grow up and watch themselves on TV or something, and they're gonna agree that they were so GAY.

Haha.

Coke and seaweed.

2008-11-03T16:21:00.003+08:00

While she wishes she was a dancer,
And that she'd never heard of cancer;

This, ladies and gentlemen, is resurrection.
Haha.

Anyhoo, I haven't even touched my Malay homework. Neither have I memorized my monologue. Cuh-rap.

Reasons why I shouldn't go to school tomorrow:

Temperature's back to normal, but I'm still feeling giddy as hell.
Like I said, I haven't even started on all that's due tomorrow.
I.
AM.
LAZY.

Reasons why I should go to school tomorrow:

FREDDOS! :P
Need to hand in all that crap.
Need to return the genius her cube.
Need to give the genius SEAWEED :D
It's a reason to get out of this hellhole for five hours (including traveling time).
It's the right thing to do :|

Sigh, that's six against five.

And like I told Smartbutt, it's nice to finally be able to laugh at all this BS. Three days in a row. And maybe it wasn't about the same thing, but still. You're gonna lose your voice one day. I await that, believe me.

"You go your way, and I'll go mine."

I agree, what is that supposed to mean? You'll bet it's caused some speculation. It's amusing, watching you explode over the stupidest things. You think you're showing how powerful you are, how you are the ultimate controller of this family. You know something? You look like a fool, a retard, when you do that. A lot of times, I wonder what would've happened if everything had gone differently.

Oh well. No use crying over spilled milk. No use laughing at your carelessness either.

they always do.

2008-10-29T17:24:00.002+08:00

Went for MT lesson earlyearlyearly in the morning, went home, tortured myself with Smartbutt's cube, read 2nd Chance, fell asleep, fetched Schmelleh, had lunch, got on the comp, haven't done anything else since.

MY

LIFE

IS

SO

BLOODY

EVENTFUL

U.G.H.

2008-10-23T21:15:00.002+08:00

What am i supposed to say,
When I'm all choked up and you're okay?

The whole way home yesterday, I was trying to figure out why I was feeling so shitty, so pissed-off.

Maybe it was because Drama finished 40 minutes after promised. Maybe because I had to stand in a bus jam-packed with people, all probably as tired as I, all probably trying their best to keep balance as I was, save those sitting down, of course. Maybe it was because of what happened before I even got on the bus. Or rather, what didn't happen. Maybe it was just because of the less enjoyable moments of the day (ahem).

Then I had that dream last night.

And now, I know why.

i need freddo :|

2008-10-17T19:11:00.003+08:00

Wellll.

Results. Tsk, how very disappointing.

It sucks that, even though I know I have to buck up, I'm still allowing myself to be as lazy as fuck. I don't deny that I have an extremely minute amount of self-discipline. I just wish it was enough to make me get up and get more.

Anywaaaaay,

Yesterday was horrible.
Horrible, horrible, horrible. For many reasons, too. Really, you need to stop it. I'm already PMSing like shit, I know that. You just make it worse. Like, a whole lot worse. It pisses me off like hell when you go all POSERish and cutesy. Gaageriffic, okay. I agree with Smartbutt; I don't think I can stand another year :/

spirit fingers.

2008-10-11T14:10:00.003+08:00

EOYs are over, but somehow, i'm not as happy or relieved as i expected. there's still results, and next year.

Oh well.

A: I need to pee, but I'm scared the toilet stinks.
H; I know, he went in like 6 times.
A: Diarrhea or what uh?
-pauses-
H: Or maybe his balls were really itchy.

ROFFLE.

faeces, and the likes.

2008-10-08T17:05:00.001+08:00

Geography = crap.
Social Studies = crapshit.
Physics = crapshitdung.
Biology = crapshitdungpoop.

need i say more?

you're my experimental game.

2008-10-06T16:45:00.002+08:00

Fadzli,

first of all, selamat hari raya of course. i'll bet this year's is bloody different for you. guess what, so is ours. this is what puzzles me. i know we weren't that close, but even then, hari raya just isn't the same without you. Dian agrees. i don't know about anyone else, but we miss you like fuck. oh, and so does your mom. do you know how many times i've seen her cry these past few days? Dian and i were talking over chemistry and cross-stitching, and we both miss you and your stupid handshakes, your farts, your lameass jokes, all the other shit that you did. why didn't you listen to her when she told you to stop? of all people, i would've thought you'd listen to her.well,let bygones be bygones. i hope you weren't lying when you said you've changed. the last time i saw you was last hari raya. and i don't know if i should ask anyone when you're coming out. it seems .. inappropriate. oh well, sometimes even smart people do stupid things, eh? you = stupidfuckshitbasturd.

tsk, Fuzzylumpkins lah youuuu :(

I'd post about exams like a lot of other people are doing, but it's just too exhausting. not to mention crappy. maybe, if tomorrow's maths turns out to be easy shizz, i'll boast. otherwise, don't expect anything.

hari raya hasn't been any different in terms of shittiness, evidently.

I CANNOT FRICKIN WAIT FOR FRICKIN EXAMS TO BE FRICKIN OVER.
D';

now when she does it like this ;

2008-10-03T13:50:00.004+08:00

Molly Smiles- Jesse Spencer

Daddy's little girl paints the world with her magic wand
Daddy's little child breathes new life to the morning time for me
Though we're apart, her thoughts follow me
When I come home, Molly smiles with the dawn
Molly smiles, and she radiates the glow around her halo
When she plays, Molly smiles
On a summer day, Molly smiles
A new day, Molly smiles

Daddy's little girl ties a ribbon around my heart
Daddy's little child waves goodbye to the ocean tide that sweeps me
Though we're apart, she's a part of me

Molly smiles with the dawn
Molly smiles and she radiates the glow around her halo
When she plays, Molly smiles
On a summer day, Molly smiles
A new day, Molly smiles

When I come home, Molly smiles with the dawn
Molly smiles and she radiates the glow around her halo
When she plays, Molly smiles
On a summer day, Molly smiles
A new day, Molly smiles

When the days have gone grey,
Nothing's wrong when Molly smiles

how sweet.

say it like you mean it.

2008-09-10T22:53:00.004+08:00

Two weeks too many.

Meant for last Wednesday:

Thanks for the long... whatever you'd like to call that talk session :D

It's amazing how our dads are so alike they could probably hook up and have gay sex all night long and it wouldn't even seem weird.

And to think it all started with some crapshit mee goreng.
Hilarious.

***

And for Friday:

SPCA trip was awesome. Sadly, though, I don't have any pics. I swear, if I ever adopted a cat, Luner would be the first one I'd go looking for.
The fucking lunatic :D

***

Monday:

Nothing much post-worthy, except for English orals. Thank Hitler I got Miss Hesley. At least she doesn't fret over her barely-existent hair :P
I'll bet a gajillion bucks someone was elated to have gotten the sexiest man alive. I'm surprised the school hasn't burnt down yet. Oh yes, that's how hot he is.

teehee.

***

And finally, today's post.
Big, big smiles, everyone :D

Dopesterestest than anyone :]

i can('t) ride my bike with no handlebars.

2008-09-01T15:18:00.002+08:00

Hey, you. See you tomorrow :D

krab-eepat-ee rofl

2008-07-30T19:12:00.002+08:00

I've a lot to say, but with little will to do so.

but to cut things short common test 2 is like this friday and i havent even started i dont really care about english though i'm more worried about FUCKING HUMANITIES NEXT WEEK WHATTHEFACK I CANNOT FAIL AGAIN LAAAAAH because if i do i can say buhbye to any chance of getting a new phone which i want sooo badly wth but who cares about that anyway when there're two fucking chem tests tmr -____________________-

this is life without punctuation.
and i am saaad D:

of the enid blyton books.

2008-07-23T18:24:00.002+08:00

i didnt sleep in Geography class, at all.
and i am very happy about that, :D

and we are now stuck between Prom Night and The Mummy 3.
this, i'm not so happy about beacause i wanna watch both but if i do, i'll have holes in my pocket :(

stripped down to the bone.

2008-07-21T17:53:00.003+08:00

a sudden wave of sadness has just washed over me. sadness for writing nothing but crap for the Malay composition just now.

i've been thinking funny thoughts all day. not funny-haha, but funny-weird. like after ---- lectured me on ---------- , i thought to myself, "she's actually pretty ----." which is a totally o.O thing to think.
plus a whole load more which i dont wanna type out cos i'm only gonna freak myself out.

i think its the sprained ankle with the the added effect of stupid ------ .
i hate being a girl -_________________________-

Mary, mary, quite contrary.

2008-07-18T15:41:00.002+08:00

what a disappointment.
oh well.

i am not looking forward to tomorrow's bio lesson, however informative it might be. because going for it means waking up early, and i haven't done otherwise in a long time. no, not even on weekends. apparently, sleeping in is a waste of life. -.-

SS seemed to go by really quickly today (which is rare ever since the FAGocyte came). probably cos Doofus and i were too engrossed with mentally calculating numbers that aren't supposed to be mentally calculated. it was fun anyway. then was maths, where binomial theorem just sucked balls.and after recess was physics, which was just okay. and then was home which was, and is still, boring the life out of me. -.-'''

Your Uncommon Name Is:

Ellena Isadora Kinner

What Very Uncommon Name Should You Have?

i don't know why i did this. cheap thrill i suppose.

fibrous, finally.

2008-07-15T19:10:00.004+08:00

eh korang,

thank you!

okay i swear, i am gonna get my maths portfolio checked tomorrow. no more ignoring Arini's advice hahaha.

today was pretty great. i love Mdm Nora for not coming today heehee. and the outing was great too. thanks guys. and sorry for making you walk all the way back to fing tong sampah ): and that instead of the expected mom inquiring my whereabouts, yours did. no more going out of the perimeter till 31st July kay? (for me at least haha)

like leftover pizza;

2008-07-09T20:20:00.002+08:00

Print maths portfolio AOK and reflections
Maths ws
Chem workbook
And someone please tell me what to do for physics D:

only four. sweet.

forgive me if i st-stutter.

2008-07-09T15:37:00.004+08:00

there are no words to describe how much sushi is loved [:

today was pretty good. for one, Boon Yain finally washed her own apparatus after bio practical this morning. on this, i congratulate you :D then was geography which was a slight disappointment because i fell asleep again. maybe its the air-conditioning, or maybe its just the subject. then was maths, which was okay cos i didnt have to answer any questions. actually, this was great cos i dont think i wouldve been able to answer the questions she gave. except question 9, i totally aced it in like a second hahahah. and after that was malay, which was just okay. except when we got to the last ~~duo~~ group's presentation, which was just funny shit. i realised i hadnt laughed as hard in a very long time. great entertainment, seriously. and after school, cheesy kaya-ed and wedgied with Arini, before heading to cwp. saw charmaine on the way. and, somehow, she looked way cool with earpieces plugged in haha (:

and then i bought sushi! :DDDDDDD
and in about 20 minutes, it's back to the same old routine.
-.-

-

2008-07-06T01:16:00.002+08:00

i totally KO-ed and slept for four hours in the afternoon just now and now I CANNOT SLEEP.
sigh.

oh, and James Franco is hothothot can.
even though he isnt British.
:D

8375448756 things i hate about you.

2008-07-04T18:52:00.003+08:00

i think the hardest thing for me to do right now is imagine that once upon a time, i liked having you around. now, your very presence irritates me. remember when i was still little, whenever you came through the door, i'd run to you and hug you, totally forgetting that Popeye or Tom and Jerry or Little Lulu was on? where'd that go? sometimes, you make me feel like it never even happened. you make it seem as though it's impossible that that actually happened. i hate it when you talk to us about responsibility and priorities and whatnots. i'm 15. yes, i've fucked up a lot of times, but i think any 15 year old would know what responsibility is. why do you always note my flaws? what about when i do something that actually turns out okay, great even? sometimes i hate that your barely home anymore. and then i realize that i only feel that way because im thinking of what it was like 10 years ago. and sometimes, i feel like i spend more time with that stray tabby than with you. and sometimes, just sometimes, i feel a sudden happiness when you come home. and it lasts for like, two seconds, before those words and that tone comes out. and i especially hate it when you remind me of your huge ego. it makes me feel like i mean nothing, like im not worth sacrificing your pride for. and i hate it when you tell me to stop being so sensitive. did you ever stop to think that maybe i'm only half as sensitive as you think, and you're just being a lot more insensitive than you know?

i hate that you make me feel so small and negligible.
i hate that you make me feel like im nothing but a screw-up.
i hate that you let your ego get the better of you.
i hate that when you do say sorry, you do it for the sake of doing it.
i hate that, just because you've been through a lot of hardships, you think it's made you wise and you know everything.
i hate it when you put her before us, even though you deny it.
i hate that there's a possibility you'll treat her like this when she grows up too.
i hate that, if that does happen, she'll have to feel this too.
i hate that you make it look like you couldn't give two chunks of shit about us.
i hate that you make it seem like you hate us.

and i hate that i cant seem to say i hate you and actually mean it.
not a hundred percent, at least.